Umm, okay. How do you translate “OMFG THIS GAME WAS SO FUN I’MMA PASS OUT FROM SHEER EUPHORIA AND ALSO I THINK I HAVE A CRUSH ON SPIDER-MAN WTH?????” to normal human-speak?
You should probably just ignore this whole post, even if you’re a n00b. Today, I will remain unashamed in the adoration of this game, but I don’t want people feeling uncomfortable with how much I loved this game. As a self-proclaimed n00b, I wouldn’t expect any fancy gaming terminology from me, but I can provide The Very Valuable n00b’s Perspective! Short and spoiler-free!
I started playing Spider-Man in September 2018, and finished it to 100% completion in about a week and a half. Seems pretty short, but if you played as much as I did in a day… well you get the idea. I usually have anime to watch and books to read but THIS GAME. MADE ME. NOT WANT TO DO ANYTHING ELSE.
So this is my short, spoiler-free n00by review of Spider-Man! Prepare to witness unnecessary fangirl-ing.
Animation and Gameplay
I dare any human reading this to not enjoy the gameplay experience of Spider-Man. I mean, look at this:
You actually get to soar through the streets of New York. You can bet I spent at least 99% of the time swinging among the buildings to reach an objective instead of fast travelling. Remember: it’s not a waste of time if it’s fun!
I haven’t played a lot of games that have the same realistic quality as Spider-Man. The newer Call of Duty and maybe the Assassin’s Creed games come close, but I gotta say that the realistic animation when you’re playing as Spider-Man and the fight scenes that come with being suited up are especially exceptional.
I don’t know if it’s actually a different animation, but the scenes where playing as Peter Parker (or the other characters NO SPOILERS!!!) doesn’t seem to be of the same caliber. Maybe extra effort was put into the fight scenes? I dunno, I might just be pulling things out of my posterior. 🍑
Basic fight controls took about a day to get used to, and with all the combo moves and skill/suit upgrades as you advance through the game, it’s a constant learning experience. It wasn’t difficult per say; it was more like a challenge! Which I loooooved. I’ve found that getting used to combos can bore me. Being able to constantly update my combat style in Spider-Man certainly doesn’t bore me!
Throughout the game, you probably expect at least some sort of dialogue. Well of course, what kind of game doesn’t have dialogue to further the storyline??
You’ll be exposed to dialogue outside of the plot sequences as you play. It’s pretty hard to explain without spoiling anything, but essentially, while exploring New York, dialogue from different sources will be present. That’s one of the other reasons why I chose to swing instead of fast travel closer to the objectives!
The dialogue can sometimes be related to the plot, but sometimes you’ll get something a little bit extra. Spider-Man is obviously canonically HILARIOUS, and that’ll be demonstrated to you pretty quickly. I laughed a lot! But maybe that’s because I find a lot of things funny… There’s other dialogue that I want to mention, but if I want to keep being spoiler-free, I’ll have to hold off on tha- I CAN’T HELP IT I HAVE TO GIVE YOU A CLUE, I’M SORRY: I was very much reminded of Alex Jones sometimes. Maybe! Maybe…
So! Gameplay as a whole feels really immersive and well-done; combat was dope AF, animation was 🔥, and dialogue was gold! A+!
When you think the game is over, it ISN’T!
The concept of time escapes me when I’m playing a game. It’s probably because the tunnel vision of being immersed in a universe makes me feel like time is nothing unless it can be measured in the campaign progress. 🤓
The point is, I felt like I’d progressed through the plot pretty well, sprinkled with an adequate development in the side missions and quests, and yet when I expected the end, I was actually only about half-way through? Maybe 2/3rd of the way to completion? Amazed I was! By The Amazing Spider-Man! (… Sorry.)
Side quests don’t feel like a chore.
I have to admit that for the sake of that invigorating feeling of gratification, I will go to lengths not yet explored by mankind to achieve 100% completion of a game, no matter how much I truthfully cannot be arsed to do so. Sometimes it’s just so boring.
Throughout my time spent with sexy sexy Spider-Man, I felt no such way. Not because of sexy sexy Spider-Man! Not exclusively at least. BUT I MEAN, LOOK AT HIM:
Also just to be clear? Sexy sexy Spider-Man isn’t sexy just because of his face/body. (Though I admit it probably does help.) His sexiness stems from his personality. It’s sounds like I’m lying, but I promise I ain’t! His humour and his kindness is what did it for me! I AiN’t AsHaMeD!!
The creators have somehow managed to keep the game from getting stale despite the repetitive side quests they’ve programmed. I don’t know if it was just because I enjoyed the whole experience of Spider-Man as a whole and didn’t want to finish the game and stop playing, but I definitely found myself enjoying the journey to 100% completion. I suppose the rewards for getting shtuff done wasn’t too bad either. New dialogue sequences, exposure the the different sides of Spider-Man himself, special upgrade opportunities, etc etc.
And hahahahahaha I just remembered the reward you get from 100%-ing the districts. Let me put it this way: I was not disappointed. 😏
If you’re like me, and like to 100% games, you can be sure it’ll be entertaining. I found myself doing the collecting, side quests and challenges to be more fun while you’re doing the main story. New ones are exposed to you as you progress too, so no worries about being “ahead” of the plot.
Worth it?
I enjoyed Spider-Man remarkably so. Spider-Man was a cutie, the plot was enjoyable, and despite not being as intricately complex as I usually like my game plots to be, the whole gameplay experience made Spider-Man one of my favourite games this year.
So. Is Spider-Man a worthy purchase?
Umm, I dunno. What do you think I’m going to say?
worth it.
DUHHH. I don’t know why I continue to have this segment at the end of my reviews. I think it’s usually pretty clear to everyone! 😬
Wanna share a fangirl squee over Spider-Man? Lemme know if you are! I ain’t talking ’bout Tom Holland though. I’m talking ’bout the ACTUAL, FICTIONAL Spider-Man Peter Parker guy. He’s my #1. I stan. My bias. Insert all those applicable fandom words. I know I’m not alone. I’M NOT. I SEE YOU.
Feel like recommending similar games you think I’ll like? I need the help; I’m just a n00b after all! Leave me a comment below, or you can use my submissions box here!
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kek.